MY BLOG POSTS

I’ve begun this post in my mind about a hundred times over the past week. But I have struggled to sit and type it out, to put words to my thoughts. I am still processing the fact that my godly, encouraging, inspiring mother-in-law is no longer on this earth. Judy was just 67.

We went to Dave’s parents’ house in New York last week. Dave’s parents have lived in the same home for over two decades. Dave and I held hands for the first time in their den. Emma took her first steps in their living room. When we returned from living in Spain, we stopped there first. Just this summer, my girls spent a week there. Judy still hadn’t told us about her cancer. As a friend said, “What a precious gift she gave to your kids.” They were able to enjoy being there with her and Richard, not feeling sorry for her or thinking, ‘This may be the last time I see her…’ They just enjoyed being together.

At Judy’s funeral, person after person shared about ways she ministered to them – praying for them, caring for them, investing in them, pointing them to Christ. She wasn’t showy, she didn’t seek attention, didn’t do things to get noticed or praised. She simply served in so many ways. Ways that even her kids didn’t know about. She served Christ wholeheartedly. And even when she was facing the end of this life, having believed God would heal her and having been disappointed that he chose not to remove her cancer, she never let go of her wholehearted love for her Savior. And, as so many have said, she was healed – wholly, completely, and eternally. Not what she expected. But I’m sure, if she could speak to us now, so much better than she ever imagined.

The legacy Judy left is in the family that comes together to celebrate her life, to tell her stories. It is in the people she led to Christ, the women she mentored, the children she has raised. No one spoke about how much money she made. No one talked about what degrees she had. No one shared which beauty products she used. None of  that matters in the face of eternity. It doesn’t matter when evaluating true worth. Judy died rich in what really mattered – rich in faith, rich in purpose, rich in family.

Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Proverbs 31:28-30

But it’s not for me.

I’m not saying it’s wrong. Lots of people I know and love have tattoos. I’m just letting you peek in my head (be careful, it’s messy!) and see how I came to my conclusions. You, of course, are free to  make your own choices. Unless you’re still living at home or being supported by Mom and Dad. Then you need to do what they say, whether you like it or not. When you’re making your own money you can go out and get a tattoo of you getting a tattoo while your parents look on in horror. Until then, just content yourself with doodling on your hand with a ball point pen.

But I want to get a tattoo of a cross or of Jesus so everyone will know I’m a Christian.

Seriously? We show our love for Jesus by our actions, by how we treat others, by how we forgive, how we encourage, how we help those in need and comfort those in pain. No one is going to come to Jesus because he lives on your shoulder. But they will come to him when they see that he reigns in our hearts.

I want to get a “Mom” tattoo because I love her so much ?

Let me just say, as a mom, I would much rather have flowers. Or chocolate. I’d rather have you visit me when you’re grown, have you take care of me when I am old and sick. But tattooing me on your body? Not so much.

I want a tattoo of my favorite (sport/hobby/TV show/superhero). When I was in college, a classmate came into our Communications class sporting a shiny, huge, incredibly colorful tattoo of Sylvester the Cat on his forearm. A cartoon character. On his forearm. I looked at him and shook my head. We were seniors. He’d be out interviewing for jobs soon. With Sylvester the Cat on his forearm. I could hear the resumes being shredded. Don’t put something on your body that will embarrass you at any point in the near or distant future. Which brings me to the last argument…

I’m going to get my tattoo in a location no one will ever see. It’ll just be my fun little secret. So what’s the point? Why get it? And don’t tell me it’s so you’ll remember something or someone special. If you need a tattoo to remember someone or something, he/she/it isn’t really as important as you think he/she/it is. Seriously.

That is why I choose “Not” to tattoo. That, and this….

I have used this talent in far too many places with far too many people to far too disastrous results. It’s not always end-of-the-world stuff. But it is always annoying at best and damaging at worst.

When I was in college, my friends would laugh at me because, no matter what was being discussed, I’d have a story for it. Rather than listening to what others were saying, engaging them, asking them questions about their story, I sat waiting, mentally preparing for when I could speak and regale the group with my story. Looking back now, I realize how incredibly gracious my friends were with me. They just let me talk, rather than turning to walk away because – invariably – I would be telling a story they’d already heard.

And that’s a more positive example. Let’s not even talk about when I yelled at a good friend, calling her a selfish jerk in front of a whole crowd of our friends. Or when I told a young man, in a very unkind manner, that he was not worthy of the girl he was dating. Or when I completely lost it in front of the entire cast of a play I was directing (more than once, for more than one play).

In every case, I let my mouth run while my brain raced to catch up. By the time I realized how ridiculous, rude, and/or arrogant I had been, it was too late. The damage had been done. What I needed to do, in every case, was to just shut my mouth.

I am going to get frustrated, I am going to get angry, I am always going to think of stories I could tell. But that doesn’t mean that I need to say everything that pops into my head. I need to think over what I am going to say, I need to make sure that what I am saying is kind, beneficial, necessary. I need to guard my mouth so that what comes out builds people up and doesn’t tear them down.

“The mouths of the righteous utter wisdom,
and their tongues speak what is just.” ~Psalm 37:30