MY BLOG POSTS
Are You for Real?
At a Christian school, especially, it’s easy to “fake” Christianity. The kids know all the “right” answers, know how to act, how to play the part. But, for some, it’s just an act. Their hearts are not in it. “Jesus” is the right answer to most questions asked in Bible class, but that’s about it. Because of that, some students graduate from our school and, seemingly, graduate from Christianity. They did their time, it was (mostly) fun, but then they move on. Our hearts as teachers are broken.
Why does this happen? I believe it’s because we have far too many “cultural Christians” in our schools (and churches). These are folks who are raised in a Christian environment and live by the “rules” during their childhood. If their growing up years were pleasant, then they might look back fondly on the faith, but decide it’s just not for them. If they had bad experiences, they might hate anything to do with Christianity and run as far from it as possible the minute they leave home.
But I would argue, as our speaker did this week, that those guys aren’t truly Christians. Sure, they can quote the verses and know when to answer “Jesus”, but they haven’t let those verses change them, they haven’t really come face-to-face with Jesus. Because, if they truly knew Him, had truly enountered him, had truly understood the words in the Bible, they couldn’t walk away. They couldn’t abandon the peace, joy, and wonder of a relationship with the God of the universe to pursue a life that is so much less satisfying.
“But…” I know. Lots of people, lots of arguments coming to your mind right now. We are great at justification, great at the role-playing. But be real with yourself, like I had to do over 25 years ago when I admitted I was faking the Christian life, saying the right answers with my mouth, but not truly believing in my heart.
Admitting my hypocrisy was embarrassing, but it was necessary. And it began a journey that I would never have imagined. A journey that, at times, was terribly hard and at times was almost unbearably wonderful. It is the life we are all made to lead, whether we accept it or not.
So I leave you with the challenge our students were left with: Are you for real? Are you all in? I won’t promise an easy life – Jesus guarantees it won’t be easy – but it is right, and it is full, and the rewards are out of this world!
Just Say No
There are major problems with that, as you can imagine.
One of the biggest problems is that I sometimes have a hard time saying “No.” People ask me to do something, and my automatic response is, “Sure!” Because I feel like it is something God wants me to do? Not usually. Usually it’s because I am afraid if I say no that person will not speak of me fondly when I am not in the room.
But there’s a problem with never saying no – I get overwhelmed. I end up doing so many things that I don’t do any one of them well. Colossians 3:23 says, “In all the work you are doing, work the best you can. Work as if you were doing it for the Lord, not for people.”
Ouch. I have to tell you — I worry WAY more about making people happy than making God happy. But that is SO backward. And stressful. Because God knows just how much I can handle. God loves me. He speaks fondly of me when I’m not in the room.
So I have realized that I need to focus on pleasing God, not people. I need to let go of the fear that people might not like me and embrace that reality that I am deeply loved by God. I need to look to him, what he has for me to do. Because there is joy in that, peace in that. And there is rest. Rest is something that is hard to get when you’re constantly saying “yes.”
Jesus says that, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Mt. 11:30). So join me in trading in the burden of being a people pleaser for the freedom of being a God-pleaser.
And, go ahead, don’t speak fondly of me. I can take it!
Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Days
Last week wasn’t my best week. I was recovering from a virus that caused major congestion, fatigue, and falls into doorways resulting in stitches. Then, right when I started feeing better, I found out someone used my debit card info to spend hundreds of dollars at a casino. That same day, my husband’s computer crashed – 12 hours from the time he was supposed to defend his dissertation.
Ugh.
Some people throw themselves a good pity party when they’re having rotten weeks (like Alexander in the fabulous children’s book). But I tend to try and pretend it’s not that bad by comparing my problems to others who are dealing with worse. Like people battling horrible illnesses. Or people whose kids are battling horrible illnesses. Or friends whose spouses have left them. Or who are losing their homes because of financial troubles. Or folks dealing with chronic pain. Sure, my week was bad, but it all cleared up. My stitches are out, my cough is gone, my bank is working on recovering the stolen money, the IT guys at the seminary were able to recover Dave’s files. We ended this week just fine. Not like others whose troubles linger for months or years.
But, you know what? I didn’t deal with those troubles the way I should have. Why? Because I didn’t feel like it was right for me to complain about them. So I just acted like everything was fine. But it wasn’t! I HATE being sick, and I am vain enough to be bothered by the scar above my eyebrow. And a CASINO, really??!! Someone used MY name to gamble MY money? NOT okay!! And poor Dave – he spent MONTHS on that dissertation and, for a while, we thought all his research was gone. It was scary. Sure, it all ended up fine, but we didn’t know that while it was all going on.
I tried to pretend everything was fine and, in doing so, for a while, refused the help of concerned friends. And, worse, I neglected to cast my cares on the One who cares for me. I went all “Lone Ranger” because I didn’t feel my problems were worth burdening my friends or my God.
It was stupid, really. And incredibly prideful. I am not made to be a “Lone Ranger”. As Donne so eloquently stated, “No Man is an Island.” I wouldn’t want MY friends to have a bad week all by themselves. I would counsel teens to seek help from God when they are struggling. So I need to do what I would want others to do. I need to be honest when I’m having rough weeks – even though I, and those around me, know others are having worse weeks than me. But I don’t need to pretend it’s all good when it’s not.
And neither do you.
Learn from my foolish mistakes. If you’re having a bad day or week, tell a friend, pour your heart out to God. Lean on those around you. As I discovered, many people are there, waiting to help. All you have to do is ask!
How Does a Book Get Published?
Until it was my book making that journey. Suddenly, I wanted to know everything.
What I learned was that the author is just one-third of the equation. Once you have a book written, you need a publisher. And to get a publisher, you need an agent. Unless you self-publish. But that takes a lot of work. And a lot of money. And a lot of business savvy. I am 0 for 3 there, so I knew I’d need to go the traditional route.
So the first thing I did was send “queries” out to agents. There are several websites that have templates for query letters and proposals. I used those and put together a “snapshot” of my book. That snapshot went out to several agents. One was interested. That one was – and is – fantastic. I am so grateful DC Jacobson and Associates took a chance on me! The process of finding and signing with an agent took about six months.
My agent (and some friends) helped me put together a very professional proposal that would go out to several publishers. One was interested. That one is amazing…
The team at Thomas Nelson took my book and went to work. The editorial team read it, re-read it and gave me lots of suggestions for how I could make it better. Then they read and re-read it again to catch errors. Then the marketing team went to work. They created that fabulous cover, and they created a “brand” for me as a writer. They put the book on different websites and gave me tips for setting this website up. Then they got it out to lots of people to read and preview and see. Finally, the sales team took all that the editorial and marketing team did with the book and they hit the streets, pitching the books to booksellers across the country, and doing so much more than I will probably ever know. It took over a year from the time I signed with Thomas Nelson until the book was published.
Becoming a published writer is a long journey. But it is exciting. If this is something you’re interested in, the best advice I can give is to PRAY. Pray for the right story, the right agent, the right publisher, and the right timing.