MY BLOG POSTS
What the &%$@ Is Wrong With Cursing?
I get this question from teens all the time. Words are words, right? Why do people make such a big deal about certain ones?
And, technically, yes, words are just words. A conglomeration of letters. There are plenty of words we can say in other languages that just sound funny to us, but would be offensive to someone who speaks that language. So why be so uptight about “curse” words in our own language? Why are they so taboo?
First, it’s because we as a society assign meaning to words. If we lived 400 years ago, the word “swive” would be highly offensive. Today, it means nothing. We don’t use that word anymore. Therefore, in our 21st century society, it is not offensive. But other words are offensive. Often because they represent acts that are not meant to be used as exclamations or curses that are intended to tear others down.
Second, as Christians, we are commanded to guard our mouths, to speak life, to use our words to build up and encourage. Paul says,“Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt…” (Col. 4:6). I have never, in my lifetime, heard someone curse graciously.
Third, many curse words include the name of God. That name is holy. It should be used with the utmost respect. (Ex. 20:6-8) We should never treat His holy name with anything but reverence.
Finally, there are millions of words in the English language! We don’t need to resort to curse words to express ourselves. We should, instead, look for those words that best explain what we are thinking and feeling.
So if you’re upset and feel like cursing, try saying this instead:
- Your choleric outburst has left me perturbed
- Cease your nugatory interactions
- Your boorish behavior is bedeviling
- I do not anticipate ever being required to utilize this information
- I am distressed at your incongruous behavior
- My penurious sibling has refused to compromise
What do you think? Let’s change the world, one big, unoffensive word at a time 
Grandaddy
My grandfather, William Henry Brush, Jr., was born 100 years ago today.
He had quite an impressive list of accomplishments in his 73 years on earth: He was a Lt. Col. in the Army, won a Purple Heart for bravery in World War II, sat in the room with Presidents during his tenure in Military Intelligence, served as a judge in his hometown and a deacon in his church.
But, to me, his greatest accomplishment was his role as Grandaddy. He and my grandmother (still thriving at 92!) provided stability in my tumultuous early years. Grandaddy loved me. I never doubted his love, never questioned it, and still miss it.
When others would praise me for my talents, he’d tell me he was proud of my character. He took me with him to the nursing home, where he taught Sunday school, and had me sing for the residents, instilling in me an understanding that my talents should be used to encourage others.
When I was in high school and tempted to do things I shouldn’t, it was the thought of disappointing Grandaddy that kept me from doing them.
Grandaddy reflected Christ’s grace and love to me, and I am eternally grateful for his influence. And even though he went to be with Jesus when I was 19, his influence is with me still.
When I think of success, I think of my grandfather – not for achievements in his careers (though they are, admittedly, impressive) – but for the influence he had on my life, an influence that carries over to my kids and one day, hopefully, my own grandchildren.
What really matters, in the end? It’s how we live, how we love, and how well we reflect Christ to those around us. I’m grateful for grandparents who taught me that and lived it out.
Happy birthday, Grandaddy!
A good name is more desirable than great riches;
to be esteemed is better than silver or gold. Prov. 22:1
Keep Your Eyes on the Prize
It was December 2011, and I remember thinking, This may be the best life ever gets.
I was doing a job I loved – teaching English and Drama – in a city I loved – Tampa. My kids were at that school with me, and they were healthy and happy. Dave and I were enjoying the ministries God had given us at our church. And, in less than a month, my first book would be published with my dream publisher, Thomas Nelson!
In short, at the ripe age of 36, all my dreams were coming true. There was nothing “more” that I wanted.
And though so many wonderful blessings have come along in the years since, as far as “dreams” go, that really was the “top”.
I had hoped that, from there, I’d stay in Tampa and maybe teach part-time – because I’d be a best-selling author who had to travel constantly for writerly events. I hadn’t even considered that my full and lively nest would one day empty. I certainly hadn’t imagined that we’d leave the city, school, and church we loved. I didn’t foresee the struggles that were ahead – struggles in our marriage, ‘growing pain’ battles with our kids, jobs that didn’t work out, the unexpected deaths of both Dave’s and my mom.
I remember, in my lowest moments, several years later, thinking bitterly, “I was right. I hit my peak at 36, and it’s been downhill since then.”
But as I wrestled through the dark times, God gently reminded me that the “goal” I set should not be an earthly goal. My eyes shouldn’t be focused on getting that book published, getting that job, or even raising my kids. Those aren’t bad, in themselves. But if I set those as “the” prize, I’ll be disappointed.
God didn’t put me on earth to write books, teach, or raise kids. He allows me to do those things. But I am here to glorify Him, to know Him and make Him known. If I keep my eyes on Him – the WHO – I can better deal with the “HOW”: How does God want to use me to glorify Him? Ten years ago, it was teaching in Tampa, writing books, and serving in a variety of ministries at church. Today, it’s living in Memphis, teaching my middle schoolers, enjoying our last year with our youngest in high school.
When I focus on God – His glory and His plans for me – I can be content in all circumstances. I can find joy when life is at its “best”, but I can also find joy when circumstances are less than ideal — because it’s God, not my circumstances, that is the source of real contentment and joy.
Friends, if the last year has taught us anything, it’s that circumstances can change quickly – and sometimes painfully. But let’s not allow circumstances to control our emotions. No matter what is happening around us, God is in control, He loves us, and He has a plan. He is our prize, and we must keep our eyes on Him every day, no matter what.
Head Games
Thinking causes me more trouble than anything else.
I can be fine, and then I’ll start thinking about some horrible possibility – what if we got in a car crash? what if our house burned down? what if everybody hated me for no reason? – and I’m suddenly the opposite of fine.
And let’s not even get started on thoughts related to people who have hurt me or someone I love. I can fantasize about their destruction, their undoing, their humiliation…
NONE of these thoughts are beneficial. They are paranoid at best and sinful at worst. And they all keep me from directing my mind to where it should be.
I was convicted of this last week when I read a post by a woman who was obviously very scared. I was annoyed at the post, then started picking apart the arguments in it, the irrationalities, the exaggeration, the fear-mongering. Then I felt the Holy Spirit stop me in my tracks. “This woman,” He reminded me, “has experienced deep loss, Krista. She is afraid because she doesn’t want to lose anyone or anything else. Stop judging her and start praying for her.”
So I did. And it was amazing! Where there had been that feeling in my gut — you know the one that comes to life when you’re having imaginary arguments? — I had peace and compassion. I wasn’t fighting with an imaginary person, I was interceding for a real person, a friend, a beloved child of God.
That prayer led to more – I know lots of people who are scared right now. I don’t need to know the root of the fear. All I need to know is the solution. And their solution is the same as mine – a focus on what’s true, on Who is true.
We are told to have the mind of Christ. That’s a tall order. But He gives us his Holy Spirit to help us with that. We just need to listen, to quiet the noise that our own minds make so we can listen to that still, small voice and obey.