MY BLOG POSTS

I’m a Soccer Mom. I’ve been a Soccer Mom for over a decade. I draw the line at wearing the bedazzled T-shirts proclaiming that status, but I do own a huge canopy that provides shade for me and several others during those especially long, hot days.

At a recent tournament, I was watching the referees. It started when a parent tried to tell the side judge to watch for number 9 on the other team. “He’s a bully,” the dad said. “I’ve known that kid since he was 6, and he’s rough. You need to keep your eye on him.” And on. And on. He wouldn’t be quiet. I was getting annoyed, and this dad was on my team! But the ref didn’t even seem bothered. He basically nodded and moved on. After a few minutes of the dad continuing his rant, the ref politely said, “That’s enough.” But, again, without any annoyance in his voice (meanwhile, I was about to shout, “SHUT UP, dude. I’m trying to watch the game.”)

Later, the head judge made a very unpopular call, invoking a Yellow Card, and some folks in the crowd starting shouting, players got in his face. It isn’t an unusual occurrence. I’ve seen it happen many times. And, while there is the occasional ref who gets in the fray, most just stay calm. They make the call, jot down the infraction, and blow the whistle to get the game going again. Even when the crowd and the players keep yelling, they move on. And when the rage gets overwhelming, the refs pull out a Red Card, sometimes evicting a player, coach, or parent. But through it all, most refs never engage in the name-calling.

As I was watching this, I was convicted at how NOT like a referee I am. When someone gets upset with me, I am far too quick to get defensive, or jump into the argument, point out all the ways THAT person is wrong and I’m right, and how dare he/she try and tell ME what I’m not doing right.

But as a Christian, I should be exhibiting self-control and gentleness. I shouldn’t lose my testimony just because someone else is losing theirs, or doesn’t have one to begin with, or maybe is just having a really bad day and I’m the easiest person to lash out at.

So I was praying, as I watched this game, that God would help me improve my reactions. That I would respond more like a referee and less like a four-year-old. And because God is a good teacher, He gave me immediate practice in this area. At the end of the first half, number 9 on the other team literally tackled Thomas (my son, the goalie). The trainer had to be brought on the field to make sure Thomas hadn’t sustained any serious injuries (he didn’t, but he was sure sore the next few days). My normal reaction would have been to go and tackle number 9 myself, or at least go to that side judge and tell him he should’ve listened to the annoying dad’s warnings. But God reminded me that wasn’t my job, and that getting angry wouldn’t change a thing that happened. It would just create bitterness in me that I sure don’t need.

My struggle with reactions isn’t over. For every patient response, I probably have three impatient ones. Thankfully, God is gracious. He allows us to see our sins so that He can help us overcome them. Because He loves us and wants us to be all that He created us to be, to live out the Fruit of the Spirit He has placed in us. I’m so glad He doesn’t give up on us, doesn’t get frustrated, doesn’t decide that, after 30 years, this girl should KNOW how to keep her mouth shut.

So, right now, God is teaching me to respond like a ref. What is He teaching you?

I have several friends who are going through some pretty difficult trials right now – marriages falling apart, families being destroyed, life-threatening illnesses, betrayal and heartache. Some Christians want to believe that those who truly love Jesus won’t have to suffer. But reality – and Jesus Himself – tells us otherwise.

Trials, James tell us, mature us. We need them. We’d remain immature Christians if life was always easy. Think back on the times in your life that were especially difficult. Think about what you learned from those trials, how different you are now.

Maybe you’re in the middle of a trial right now, and you don’t see any good coming from it. It’s just hard or unfair or incredibly difficult. It’s SO easy to focus on the trial or the hurt. Believe me, I know. But God is asking us to be like Jesus. When He was struggling in the Garden of Gethsemene, Jesus looked up. He was honest and asked God to take the trial away: “If it be Your will, take this cup from me.” But He didn’t stop His prayer there. He finished with, “Nevertheless, not my will, but Thine be done.”

And God’s will was for Jesus to suffer. For us. For our good. And, sometimes, it is His will for us to suffer. Sometimes the suffering is because of our own sinfulness — ask God if that’s what happening, and confess your sin! Other times, we suffer simply because we live in a sin-cursed world, filled with sinful people (like us!) who do sinful things. And sometimes, God is wanting to grow and mature us, to teach us what we couldn’t learn any other way.

We don’t always know the “why” of trials. But we can choose to trust God in the midst of them, to pray, like Jesus, that God’s will be done. No matter what. We can choose to focus on God, His truth, His goodness, His righteousness, and come out of each trial seeing the rainbows that come after the storm. Or we can keep our eyes on ourselves, downcast, frustrated, and see nothing but the mud puddles left behind.

As someone who, at various times, has chosen both options, let me encourage you – Look up, my friends. The view is SO much better.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4

Today Americans celebrate freedom. This day, almost 250 years ago, our founding fathers declared our nation’s independence from Great Britain.

But as Christians, we should celebrate every day. We have been gloriously and eternally been set free.

But set free from what?

Some Christians want to argue that we are free to do whatever we want. Jesus has set us free to…be selfish? In the words of the apostle Paul, “may it never be!”

Friends, we have been set free from slavery to sin. Romans 6:6 tells us that our old bodies were crucified with Christ, so “that we should no longer be slaves to sin.”

What does it mean to be a slave to sin? It means that sin had complete mastery over us. We couldn’t not sin. We walked in darkness. We were blinded. We were separated from God.

But God…in His great love, sent His son to pay the penalty we deserved so we can have freedom from sin and be made new men and women. Jesus died on the cross so that we can be free.

Are we walking in that freedom? I was meditating on that today. Every time I choose bitterness over forgiveness, I am choosing slavery to sin. Every time I choose to dwell on thoughts that are ungodly, I am choosing slavery to sin. Every time I engage in gossip, I am choosing slavery to sin. And I know it’s slavery because it makes me feel trapped, frustrated, unhappy.

Freedom brings joy and lightness of spirit. Freedom doesn’t mean life is easy. There are battles every day. There are trials, there are enemies. But my responsibility when faced with those is to look up – my help comes from the Lord. And He WILL deliver me from my enemies. He promises to do that. But, too often, I choose to wallow in my difficulties, I hold my hands out and allow sin to shackle me once again. 

We are FREE, friends! Let’s act like it. Let’s live like those who are free — free to love, free to walk in obedience, free to follow God’s call, whatever that may be. We are no longer slaves to sin! That is worth far more than firecrackers and hot dogs. That’s worth my whole life.

I’ve had the same favorite verse for as long as I can remember: Psalm 19:14 “May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”

But what I forget sometimes is that God gave me this as my favorite verse because I need it.

Words are both my greatest strength and my greatest weakness.

I love words — I love writing them, I love talking, I love singing, I love listening to words being spoken or sung, I even love reading about words.

But I can also obsess over words – what I’ve said or what someone else has said. Words can rattle around in my head for days, weeks, even months, taunting, condemning, and enraging me.

Words are tools that can be used to make others feel ten feet tall or grain-of-sand small. And I have been on the giving and receiving end of both. We all have.

So the Lord reminded me of this verse earlier this month. I was in Florida, visiting friends and family. I spent every day talking and listening to folks I haven’t seen in far too long. And each conversation was so challenging. Many of the people I spoke with are enduring incredibly difficult situations. I was reminded of the Apostle Paul, who told the Philippians that he had learned the secret of contentment in all circumstances: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” The testimonies I heard all had that same theme – “life is tough, but God is good.”

As I meditated on this verse, I was reminded that it isn’t just the words that come out of my mouth that I need to surrender to God. It’s the words in my heart. The words that rattle around in my brain. Those are the seeds from which my attitude grows, the branches of the words I speak. If I am thinking angry, negative thoughts, then angry negative words will come out.

But if I am surrendering each thought to Christ, then I can know when I am being sinful or bitter. I can be given the strength to keep silent when I want to lash out. Or, conversely, to say the hard thing rather than staying silent.

This isn’t just a nice verse or the answer to a “Sunday school” question. This verse was given to me decades ago because God knew I needed it branded on my heart and mind. Words can be a weapon or a gift. It’s only through the power of the Holy Spirit that I can use them for good.