MY BLOG POSTS

Like many females, I spend WAY more time in my head than I should. I carry on imaginary conversations, I worry about nonexistent circumstances, I project out one week – or one year – and freak out about things that are pretty likely to never happen.

I have done this so much that I have been angry at people for things they never actually said. I have lived in dread of a future that doesn’t exist. I can sometimes get “stuck” in my head and forget about the real world all together!

If you’re reading this and think I am crazy (you’re right…I’m already imagining what you’re saying right now), just move on from here. Check Snap Chat or bask in what must be the glorious freedom of an unencumbered mind. For the rest of you…you are not alone!!

So what do we do — other than becoming writers and channeling that overactive imagination into something useful?

We wage war.

Yep, that’s right. Our minds are a battlefield. And a particularly effective one for our Enemy because no one knows what goes on in there except God and us. We can be living in total freak out mode on the inside and pretend to have it all together on the outside. We can even pass ourselves off as super godly, I-got-it-all-together girls whose worst problem is whether or not to attend the Saturday night or Sunday morning service at church.

And that would be fine if God were asking us to put on a great front. But that’s the EXACT OPPOSITE of what He asks. He wants us to be honest with ourselves and honest with Him (because He already knows the crazy in our heads, anyway!). He wants us to love Him with all our hearts, soul, strength, and mind (Luke 10:27). How do we love God with our mind? By taking every thought captive to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5).

That means when those thoughts fly in – the ones that you know don’t need to be there – you push them out. On our own, that may seem impossible. But we’re not on our own! If you are a Christian, you have the Holy Spirit living inside you. You have the power of God available to you! You have the Words of God literally at your fingertips. Those are our weapons. We fight lies with Truth. We battle the Enemy by remembering Who is fighting on our behalf.

Ladies, this takes work. Especially if, like me, you have spent far too much time giving your mind free reign. We can develop bad habits of sitting back and letting our minds run with thoughts that don’t need to be there. We have to be proactive: memorize verses, pray, listen to sermons or worship music. We need to develop new habits, train our minds to love God and honor Him. It’s a daily exercise, and it isn’t easy. But it sure beats the alternative!

Forgiveness is probably, for me, the toughest of Christ’s requirements for His followers. But coming in at a very close second is servant leadership. I don’t like the idea of being “last”. I want to be the best. I want people to love me and praise me. I want “followers” and “likes” and “thumbs up.”

But Jesus, by word and example, reveals a model that is totally opposed to what I want. Paul reminds us, in Philippians 2, that Jesus was GOD and chose to humble Himself to an excruciating and undeserved death because of His great love for us.

Meanwhile, I don’t even like when people go before me at a four way stop.

I want this type of leadership from others, though. I am really great at pointing out those folks who claim to follow Christ but mistreat others, who bully and manipulate and lie to get what they want, who treat others like the dirt on their shoes, all in the “name of Jesus.” I think they’re awful, and I want nothing to do with them.

But…when it’s me, do I get just as angry? Am I as appalled at my own sin as much as I am at others’? Do I expect the same level of servant leadership from myself as I do from others? Or do I excuse my own sinful behavior, because it’s “not as bad” as the sins I see in other people?

What God is trying to teach me is that, because he requires servant leadership from His followers, disobedience is sin. Choosing to put my own interests above others is sinful. Living in a constant “me first” mindset is living outside of God’s will. And I know that there is far more freedom and joy living inside God’s will than out.

(Please know, this doesn’t mean it’s all right to permit abuse. That isn’t what I’m saying or what the Bible teaches. If you are in any type of abusive situation, walk away. Get help. We let bullies win when we give them the power to abuse others without consequence. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for someone is to establish boundaries so they know their behavior is unacceptable.)

So what does servant leadership look like? Hopefully, you have some examples around you. I’m blessed to have many servant leaders around me. These are the folks who stop what they’re doing to help you, who really listen when you talk, who quietly look for ways to assist those around them. Servant leaders aren’t flashy, they don’t brag about what they’ve done or complain about what they need to do. They just serve, with joy and humility, in whatever way they can.

I have a LONG way to go in this area. But I’ll start small – looking for ways, today, to serve someone, to do something no one will even notice. Maybe something as simple as returning a grocery cart to the store or picking up trash from the ground. Servant leadership doesn’t have to be grand. It’s a mindset, looking for ways to bless others, help them, encourage them, to love others and place their interests above our own.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Phil. 2:3-4

There’s a lot about my job that I love, but one of my favorites is getting to direct shows. I have been blessed with really great students over the years who, for the most part,  follow my direction. Even if, sometimes, it seems off the wall — “try a different accent,” “throw yourself on the floor and scream like a toddler”, “flip yourself over that couch” — they usually trust me, and their risks usually pay off.

Occasionally, though, I have an actor who does not want to follow directions. Some students recently reminded me of this cute little first grader who had a small part in the musical, “ANNIE” last year. He was in one scene, and had one line: “Fifty cents!” I was trying to get him to say it with enthusiasm – his character was was excited to have fifty cents! So I’d kneel down in front of him and say, “fifty cents!!!” with lots of emotion, and he’d reply with “fifty cents”, in a monotone. We went back and forth, me getting more and more animated, and him getting more and more monotone. But then, finally…he did it! “Fifty cents!!” The whole cast cheered. It took a while, but he got it, and he did great in the production.

As I recalled that, I thought how God is like a director, and sometimes we’re like that kid. God’s standing in front of us saying, “Love others!” or “Keep your mouth shut!”, and we just keep doing what we were doing. Keep getting the same results. Those around us often look on and think – “Why aren’t you listening?? Your Director is trying to help you out!” But we don’t see it. We think we can “direct” ourselves. Or we think we’re doing just fine – who needs a Director? We’ve got this.

But, as flawed as I am, as a human director of fictional shows, I want my cast to look good. I want the show to be the best it can be. My direction has at its heart the best interest of my actors. How much more, then, does God, who is the perfect Director of our real lives, have our best interests at heart? He knows THE best way for our stories to unfold. We should listen to Him. The first time. The wisdom He offers is worth far more than “fifty cents!” 😉

“For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.” Prov. 2:6

This weekend was tough for me — both my daughters left for college. Emma will be a junior and Ellie a freshman. Saying goodbye is always tough. I love my girls, and I miss them! But, as I was thinking through this whole “leaving the nest” process, I thanked God for the work He has done in both their lives, in the years leading up to their leaving.

As a mom, my instinct is protect my kids from hard times. I don’t want them hurt in any way, don’t want them mistreated. I want them to have lots of friends and fun, good grades and starting positions on all the sports teams. 

But the reality of life is that, sometimes, we encounter hard times, we are mistreated, we don’t always have lots of friends or fun, and, sometimes, we fail. God knows that. And because He is a MUCH better parent than I am, He allowed my daughters to experience all the above. And He did this because He knows that character is more important than comfort.

My girls’ character was shaped the most during the hard times – the moves and the heartaches, the bench-sitting and the lost friendships. They didn’t always respond perfectly. Neither did their dad or I. We’re still growing, too! But they did grow from them — either by learning to rely on Christ to get through it or learning, in hindsight, how not to respond.

And so, as we send them off – Emma to continue and Ellie to begin college – we send them off knowing they are prepared. They know what it’s like to be disappointed, to be hurt, to be challenged. They understand failure. And they know that, no matter what circumstances they face, God will be right beside them. They know to praise Him on the mountaintops and to cling to Him in the valleys.

And while I pray their college years will be more mountaintops than valleys, I am comforted in knowing they have already experienced both and come out stronger.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4