MY BLOG POSTS

I’m in Kindergarten for 35 minutes a week. It’s the best! I teach Drama to these little guys, and I always leave with a smile. They’re just so cute.

Last week, we played a game where each student got to be the “director”. They came to front of the room and got to tell their fellow students how to act. Because they are 5-6 years old, most of the time the directions were to be some type of animal. We had tigers and snakes and dogs and, of course, unicorns. Also, because they are 5-6 years old, all of the animals loved to scream at the top of their lungs and race around the room.

But here’s the part I loved: every time I called a student up, the others responded with a “Yay Eva!” or “Yay Valentina!” or “Yay Wes!”

They could have responded with whining, “I want a turn!” Or a grumpy, “I never get picked”. But they didn’t. Rather than focusing on themselves, they were thinking of others, rejoicing with them, making each student that went up feel like a “star”. It made the whole game so much more fun for everyone!

I left that room thinking that we could all take a lesson from those little guys. How often do we watch others get “picked” for something we want – a position on a sports team, a part in a play, a higher grade, a better job – and get frustrated or whine? How often are we self-focused instead of others-focused?

Paul tells us in Philippians 2 that we should “think of others as more important than ourselves.” But how often do we really do that? I know I am much quicker to complain than to rejoice. And yet, when something great happens to me, I want those around me to rejoice. The excitement fades when they don’t.

I want to be like my little Kindergarten friends. When someone around me gets a promotion, I want to say “Yay, Stacy!” Or when someone gets a new car, “Yay, Paul!” I want to cheer and encourage my friends, not be selfish and think about what I want or what I don’t have.

God’s commands are always for our good; therefore, rejoicing with others is for our good. It will make us happier, less stressed, and even more grateful when blessings come our way.

So today, when a friend shares some good news, clap your hands and say, “Yay you!!” Then run around and scream like a unicorn 😉

I am, like most of you, a busy person. And I like being busy! Boredom is like a virus to be avoided. On top of being a wife, mom, and teacher, I always have a book (or two) that I’m reading, an audio book that I’m listening to, daily podcasts that I subscribe to, TV shows I’m watching, and of course, social media. When I’m in the car, or getting ready in the mornings, I listen to music, podcasts or audio books. I keep earphones in when I’m cleaning house or going on walks. 

Lately, I’ve realized that there is a danger in all that busy-ness, all that noise. Not that any of it is “wrong”. But how often am I actually “still”? When does my mind get to rest? I realized, in my devotions lately, that prayer is getting more difficult. It’s just me and God. No outside words or noises or images. And that should be a joy! But it has become a little uncomfortable. I don’t spend enough time slowing down, meditating on Truth, listening to God. My mind is so used to being constantly stimulated, that I am becoming dependent on outside noise and losing some inner peace in the process.

We live in a world where we have to “force” ourselves to be still. It doesn’t come naturally. And, if you’re like me, it isn’t easy. But it’s in the quiet places where God meets us, where we commune with Him. It’s in being still that we are reminded that He is God.

We love to think of God as a “good, good Father.” And HE IS! He is perfect and holy and the absolute definition of Good.

But what do we think of when we hear the word “good”? I think, in the 21st century, “good” has come to mean a kind of permissiveness: God is good, so He’s not going to allow bad things to happen to us. God is good, so He isn’t going to judge us. God is good, so He isn’t going to discipline us when we sin.

Growing up, I had parents who were fairly strict. When I did something wrong, I was disciplined. My parents saw that I had a problem with lying when I was younger, so they pointed out that sin and disciplined me for it. As a teenager, I struggled with laziness, and my parents disciplined me for that. I wasn’t allowed to get away with those sins. The discipline wasn’t immediately effective (because I was pretty stubborn, too), but it did eventually work. As an adult, I am known as being honest and hard-working. Not that I never lie or battle laziness, but those aren’t sins that characterize me. I have my parents, and the work of the Holy Spirit in my life, to thank for that.

Today, though, many parents don’t see the value of discipline. They feel it’s not “good”. I see it often as a teacher. I see kids every year who are like I was – kids who struggle with lying or laziness, among other issues. Issues that aren’t shocking or abnormal, but issues that need to dealt with. Rather than dealing with these issues, though, some parents choose to ignore them. I’ve seen parents blame teachers or other students for their child’s lying, cheating, or their disrespectful attitudes, among other things. Mostly, though, I see parents refuse to believe their child does anything wrong. Teachers will meet with parents to discuss inappropriate behavior, and the parent immediately defends their child, often attacking the teacher for daring to “accuse” their precious son or daughter of the infraction.

As a high school teacher, I see the results of this kind of parenting – entitled, manipulative teenagers who believe they can get away with anything. These students are not ready to be productive members of society. They have been trained to believe they are innocent of any wrong doing, free of any sin, that others are to blame for their problems. I have no doubt their parents love them — deeply. But, friends, parents are NOT being “good” if they excuse or ignore their child’s sin. That’s not how God parents. Throughout scripture we see examples of how “God disciplines those He loves.” (Heb. 12:6) God, in His goodness, doesn’t allow His children to continue in sin. He loves us too much for that. Discipline isn’t enjoyable. Not for anyone involved. But it is necessary.

Parents reading this, be like the “good, good Father.” Love your children enough to train them in righteousness. Teens reading this – submit to your parents’ discipline, even when it seems “unfair.” You WILL grow from it. And, if your parents can’t bring themselves to point out your flaws, ask God to bring someone into your life who will – a godly adult who will call you out when you sin and graciously point you toward Christ-like behavior.

Let’s correctly understand the goodness of God and seek to model it in all that we do. “Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.” Prov. 3:4

I am currently on a diet healthy eating plan. I started it because, ladies who aren’t there yet, losing weight after 40 is MUCH harder than losing it before 40. And also because I’ve spent 40+ years avoiding exercise, vegetables and healthy foods, and my metabolism is finally saying “enough”! Because I want to be as healthy as I can be for as long as I can, I need to take better care of the body God has given me.

What’s interesting is that, as I am working to develop more self-control in one area of my life, God is showing me where I lack self-control in other areas, too. I’m realizing I spend WAY too much time on my phone, I speak without thinking, I act without thinking…

All of this reminds me of how important self-control is and how very deceptive our hearts and minds can be. We can sabotage ourselves, friends, thinking that we can do whatever “feels good.” For me, it feels good to eat cake and donuts, to sit on the couch, to respond without thinking, to spend hours on my phone. But none of those are beneficial. What’s beneficial is not all that enjoyable, frankly. I just don’t enjoy vegetables. I don’t enjoy exercise. I don’t enjoy leaving my phone behind. Ever.

BUT, as my friend and health coach keeps telling me, I will eventually start enjoying what I don’t enjoy. One day, she says, I’ll actually want these vegetables, the non-sugary foods, even the exercise. The key is retraining my body to want what I need. And, because I’ve spent decades in unhealthy training, this reprogramming takes time. Just wanting to change isn’t enough. I have to work at it.

Maybe your struggle today isn’t pursuing a healthy lifestyle. Maybe it’s being honest, being pure, choosing to use your words to build others up instead of tearing them down. Maybe it’s restoring broken relationships or maybe it’s overcoming laziness. We all have sinful patterns that weigh us down. But, if you are a Christian, you have the Holy Spirit living inside you. And one of His gifts is self-control. It’s IN us! We just need to ask Him to help us use it. It’s not a magic formula, but it is a promise. We can cling to God’s word, to truth, and reject the lies we feed ourselves – the lies that justify our sins, lies that make our desires our gods.

And as we pursue Truth, we’ll crave it more. Our sinful patterns will be disgusting to us. Pursuit of what is godly will bring us joy and life and fulfillment.

“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” Prov. 25:28