MY BLOG POSTS

Last night, a woman in my Bible study shared how God gave her opportunities to tell people about Him on her recent vacation. This woman radiates joy – everything about her. She also has MS – a disease that is slowly robbing her of basic motor functions. But her conversations don’t center around her disease or her limitations. She talks about Jesus, how good He is, how much He loves us, and how she loves to share that love with others.

This woman has true joy – a joy that isn’t dependent on her circumstances. Her joy is in Christ, who never changes, whose mercies are new every morning.

As I listened to her last night, I was convicted that, externally, I have so much more than she does. I have legs that carry me without the aid of a walker. I can wear any clothing I want, not just those designed to help improve circulation and balance. I have energy to work all day, to go on walks. I can drive myself anywhere I want to go and am not dependent on anyone for help in my daily activities.

Yet…do I exude the kind of joy she does? When people walk away from me, are they reminded of Christ and His love? If I’m honest, I think the answer is, generally, “no.” I tend to talk about me – my family, my job, my interests, my complaints.

Listening to my friend last night, I was reminded that joy is a choice, and it shouldn’t be based on circumstances but on Christ. I can be joyful, even if life isn’t going exactly the way I want it to go. I can be joyful even through tears and trials. Joy isn’t about always smiling. It’s about resting in the peace that God is good, He is in control, and I can trust Him.

“But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.” Psalm 5:11

Go to any bookstore – online or in person – and you will find rows and rows…and rows and rows… of shelves housing books devoted to “self-esteem.” Most seem to focus on loving yourself, forgiving yourself, being good to yourself. Because we just don’t think enough of ourselves.

Riiiight.

Here’s what I think: our problems with self-esteem aren’t that we don’t think enough of ourselves. Our problem is that we think of ourselves WAY too much.

At least I do, anyway. I don’t think a day goes by when I don’t think about myself, my needs, my wants. When I don’t feel frustrated that I am not being treated well enough. I look at people and wonder what they are thinking about me – do they like me? Are they talking about me to their friends? Are those conversations positive or negative? They better not be saying bad things because, believe me, I know some stuff about them…Yeah, um, you get the idea.

But plenty of days go by when I don’t think about others: the needs of others, the wants of others, whether or not I am treating others well enough. I am an expert on being self-centered. In fact, I could write a book about that! But being others-centered? I need some help there.

Good News!

I have help there: it’s called the Bible, and it is SO much better than any self-help book on any real or virtual bookstore on the planet. The Bible has a whole lot to say about how we should think about ourselves. The verse I need to be reminded of most often is this one:

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” ~Phil. 2:3-4

The English teacher in me has to point out that those verses are imperatives – the “bossy” sentence. That’s Paul (lovingly) sticking his finger in our faces and saying, YOU – that’s right YOU – stop being so selfish! Worry more about others than you worry about yourself. The rest of the chapter (which I highly recommend reading) goes on to demonstrate how Jesus lived out this principle. He set the example for a selfless life, and we will experience great joy if we follow that example.

So if I really want to make ME happy, I should think about ME less.

Because my self has enough help.

We all know that our past affects our future. Sometimes, our pasts include memories we cherish and other times, they include challenges we’d prefer to forget. Most of us have some of each, making us who we are, shaping our personalities and choices.

I was recently in McKenzie, Tennessee – a small town in the northwestern part of that state that holds some of my very favorite memories. This was where my grandparents lived, and I spent as much time as I possibly could up there. I lived in Florida, but came to Tennessee every summer, most spring breaks, and any other time I could convince my parents to let me go.

I have memories in every corner of that town – the park where my friends and I would feed the ducks, the church where I attended from nursery through youth group, the hospital where a doctor barely managed to sew my finger back on after I’d gotten it stuck in a bicycle chain.

But one of my favorite places was my grandparent’s house. And my favorite spot was their front porch. Because, for me, it wasn’t a front porch. It was a stage! I created stories on that front porch. I’d put folding chairs in the front yard, drag neighborhood friends over as my cast, then write, direct, and star in my shows. The flower garden was a jungle or a cave. The pillars were trees or monsters or fairies. The wrought iron table and chairs were thrones or mountains or dangerous enemies.

As I looked back at this porch, I saw that so much of who I would become was shaped there: My love for stories led to my choice of Literature as a major. My love of public speaking led to my career as a teacher. My “script writing” led to my writing novels. And directing my very kind but reluctant friends led to directing my sometimes-reluctant students in plays and musicals.

This porch is an important part of my origin story. God used that special place to develop the gifts He had given me, and He gave me wonderful grandparents and friends who encouraged those gifts. From that “stage”, I went on to many others. And though the others may have been larger, that first one still holds a special place in my heart.

You may still be in the “front porch” phase of your life. And maybe you can’t see where you’ll go from there. Maybe the folding chairs are empty. But don’t be discouraged. God has a plan! He is working in you and preparing you to accomplish His will in your life. Keep showing up. God is already there. He planned your origins and He knows your future.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jer. 29:11