MY BLOG POSTS

We all have such great goals at the beginning of the year. Sadly, though, by February, our resolutions are often as dusty as that membership card to the local gym that we bought.

So how can we make and keep resolutions? Here are some tips:

Make your resolutions reasonable. “I’m going to work out every day this year” or “I want to cut out soda for a year” or “I’m going to stop complaining” are great goals, but friends, they aren’t really reasonable. You set yourself up for failure with these — the first day you miss a workout, sip a soda, or complain, and the whole thing is shot. That’s when we give up and feel like failures. Instead, make reasonable, attainable goals — “I’m going to work out 3 days a week”, “I’m going to limit myself to one soda a week”, “Whenever I complain, I’m going to stop and say three things I am thankful for”. 

“Chunk” It. When I eat a slice of chocolate cake, I don’t stuff the whole thing in my mouth. I’d choke if I did that. I’d also miss out on enjoying the flavors and textures of the cake. Instead, I take my time, and I enjoy the treat. This is the best way to attack resolutions, as well. Wanting to lose 20 pounds can be overwhelming. When all we lose is a pound or two after a week of resisting that chocolate cake, we want to give up. However, if we just focus on one day at a time, our goals are much easier to reach. Wake up each day asking God for the self-control to make it to the end of that day. Don’t project out a month or two. That can be overwhelming. Just say, “Today, I’m going to make healthy choices when I eat.” Or, “today, I’m going to walk for 30 minutes.” Or “Today, I’m going to look to encourage at least one person.”

Hit “Restart”. If you’re like me, you can tend to give up too easily. It’s the end of January, and you’ve only lost 3 of the 20 pounds…forget it. It’s not worth the hassle! We beat ourselves up and we give up. We can have so little grace with ourselves. But God tells us His mercies are new every morning! We get a fresh start every new day God gives us. So, if you’ve not managed to keep those resolutions, hit the “restart” button. Start fresh. Set reasonable goals, chunk them, and do, today, what you can to reach them.

Pray. This isn’t last because it’s least important, but because it’s the foundation for everything else. What is God asking you to do today? What’s important to Him should be what’s most important to us. Maybe He wants you to focus on a different fruit of the Spirit each week, to further develop that fruit in you. Maybe He wants you to spend more time in His word, or to join a Bible study, or to share your faith with friends and family members. What He doesn’t want is for you to focus on yourself more than Him, or to be anxious. So “seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Mt. 6:33)

I watched the film, “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” a few weeks ago (HIGHLY recommend it!), and one scene in particular has really stuck with me.

Mr. Rogers is talking to the journalist, Lloyd Vogel, about what’s important, who’s important. He stops and says, “Do you know what’s most important to me right now?”

Vogel just shrugs. He’s still not sure Mr. Rogers is really as great as everyone believes he is.

Mr. Rogers looks at him and says, “Lloyd Vogel is what’s most important to me right now.”

Rogers backs up his words by his actions – he sits still, leans in, really listens to Lloyd. He wants to know about his childhood, his family, his interests and dreams. Later, he’s seen visiting him, calling him, praying for him.

I almost said “Amen” right then.

I know it’s a fictionalized version of the Vogel story (but, like the wife’s character, I say, “Don’t you ruin my childhood!” by speaking badly of Mr. Rogers). But the sentiment, whether he said it or not, is so true. It’s something I needed to hear, something I need to work on.

I walked out the theater asking myself, “Am I really present for people?” I love the other kind of present – getting gifts, giving gifts, shopping for gifts – but what about being present? I’m not great at that. My brain moves fast, and I’m often having other conversations or planning other moments in my mind, when I should be focused on the person or task  in front of me. I should make those I come in contact with feel like they are special, valued, and loved.

This season, rather than getting so caught up in physical presents, I want to give the gift of being fully present with others.

Jesus gave us the best example of this, when He became present with us 2000 years ago. As we celebrate His birth, let’s reflect His character and give the gift of our presence today.

“Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” Phil. 2:4

Here’s the greatest advice I never got:

Know yourself.

I know what you’re thinking…I know exactly who I am: “A daughter of the King.” And you’re right. Except that, while we absolutely are daughters of the King, we are also people who hearts are “desperately wicked” (Jer. 17:9), and we lie to ourselves all the time.

These lessons have taken me almost 45 years to learn. So if you’re younger than that and reading this, read on and don’t take as long as me to learn them! (If you’re older, pass on some wisdom that I have yet to learn…I know there’s lots more I need to know).

Don’t Believe Everything People Tell You About You

I know you hear this a lot in regard to the negative stuff — don’t believe those nasty people who call you names and belittle and condemn you. And that’s absolutely right — don’t give them power to tell you who you are! But don’t believe all the positive stuff, either. I grew up having people tell me I was great. And I totally believed it. I allowed my “greatness” to be my identity, to make me feel superior others who weren’t as great, to make me angry when anyone didn’t recognize my greatness. It wasn’t until college that God started working on that area and showed me what I called “greatness”, He called Pride. Pride is a sin that God hates. I should have listened less to the people who called me great and gone instead to THE Great and Mighty God. What lies – good or bad – are you believing about yourself?

Do Listen to the People Who Know You Best

I remember one time, when I was a teenager, my mom told me she knew me better than I knew myself. I got SO mad. She didn’t know me. She wasn’t in my head, wasn’t in my world, didn’t know my problems. How DARE she say that?? Fast forward about 30 years, and my husband says the same thing. Now, though, because I am slightly less stupid than I was when I was a teenager, I acknowledge that he’s probably right. Dave has known me for over half my life. He’s seen me at my absolute worst, my most insecure, my angriest…He knows how I respond to hurts and frustrations, to joys and blessings. And when I respond in ways that aren’t beneficial to others or myself, he’ll call me out on it. When he sees me believing lies – good or bad – he points that out, too. I haven’t always liked having that stuff pointed out (he obviously didn’t get the memo that I am great!!) But he sees things that I’m blind to. His observations are accurate, and he wants to see me be all God has for me. I benefit from listening to his suggestions and corrections. Do you have people in your life who can offer godly suggestions and corrections?

Read Your Bible

This is the foundation for all of the above. This allows you to test what others are saying about you. If someone calls you “worthless”, you can know that you’re “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Ps. 139:13). If someone tells you you’re the greatest thing ever, you can know that only God holds that position, and we are commanded to “walk humbly with our God” (Micah 6:8). If someone who knows you well corrects you, you can be encouraged that this is a good thing, “as iron sharpens iron, so one (wo)man sharpens another.” (Prov. 27:17). You can check what you feel against the Bible. Maybe you’re really angry, and you feel like you have the right to be very angry. But then you read James 1:20, “For man’s anger does not not bring about the righteous life that God requires.” You get the idea! The more we know God – through His word and through prayer – the more we can truly know ourselves. And that, friends, is a very good thing.

In Christian circles, “beauty” is sometimes treated as a bad word. We have retaliated against the secular obsession with physical beauty so much that we’ve also allowed real, true beauty to be forgotten.

A colleague reminded us last week that Beauty is a gift from God. In fact, Truth, Goodness, and Beauty are His trifecta. We should pursue each, enjoy each. And Christians from times past did a terrific job of reflecting God’s beauty. Artists, poets, composers, and scientists from earlier centuries used those mediums to reflect and praise God’s creation, His goodness, and His gifts.

We watched a video where images of creation were shown in high-definition. The narrator noted that the colors and designs we see in nature – from flowers to butterflies, peacocks to fish – are astounding. They reflect, not randomness, but design; not simply functions, but intricate beauty. The peacock, for instance, has a tail that is perfectly symmetrical, whose multiple feathers are iridescent. This bird is just beautiful, for beauty’s sake. Plenty of others in that species attract mates without the help of that kind of ostentatious plumage. God was just showing off when He designed the peacock!

My husband enjoys keeping a fish tank, and while I do pretty much  nothing to help with it, I have asked that he keep the tank saltwater rather than freshwater, because tropical fish are so lovely. And they’re relaxing to watch. Why do you think so many doctors’ and dentists’ offices have tanks in them? They calm scared children (and adults) simply by doing what they are designed to do. They enthrall us because they are beautiful.

Beauty is not a secular creation. God created beauty. And like all of His gifts, Beauty can be distorted and perverted. But in its purest, truest form, it’s a means to worship the Creator. After our talk at school, I started looking around more – up at the myriad colors in the sky, as it transitions from day to night; down at the tiny flowers, blades of grass, even the insects that frighten or annoy. They’re beautiful. Designed by a God who considers the smallest details, for whom Beauty is a reflection of His character and creativity.

Christians, Beauty is ours. True beauty. Enjoy it, claim it, and allow the beauty that God has given to draw us closer to Him in worship and praise.