MY BLOG POSTS

I was listening to a podcast recently, and the speaker compared Eve’s response to Satan’s words to Jesus’ response to Satan. The speaker went on from there, but I didn’t. I’ve been thinking about that for days, now, convicted that I am far too often like Eve and not enough like Jesus in how I respond to the lies of the Enemy.

Eve listened to Satan, she engaged in a discussion with him, and ultimately, she believed him when he said she didn’t really need to follow God’s command not to eat from the fruit of the tree. The results were catastrophic. We’ve all been affected by her choice. And Satan slithered away, victorious.

Jesus, on the other hand, refused to listen or engage with Satan. Even after Jesus had been fasting for 40 days in the wilderness, Jesus stood His ground. When Satan spoke, Jesus responded with scripture. Period. No trying to argue or reason or debate. Just “The word of God says…” and that was it. Satan slithered away, defeated.

When I am struggling, I “get in my head” a lot. I think of the “what-ifs”, I worry about hypothetical futures, I have discussions with myself about what may go wrong, what I’ll do if it goes wrong, how awful it could be…

But, I realized, those thoughts are NOT from God. They’re not based on Truth. Those thoughts are lies from the Enemy. Instead of allowing those thoughts to have real estate in my mind, I should evict them immediately, replacing them with God’s words.

Here are some verses that I’m using right now. Please share others that you find helpful.

• “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Mt. 6:34
• “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Phil. 4:8
• “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” James 1:2-3
• “Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise.” James 5:13
• “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38

I don’t know about you, but this quarantine has been like a roller coaster for me — some days are “up”, some are “down”, and sometimes, the drop is heart-stopping. I have experienced peace that passes comprehension, and I’ve also experienced anxiety so great that I feel like I’m going to be sick.

During this time, I’ve also been studying the book of James. I know that’s no coincidence. James is all about persevering through trials, seeking true wisdom, and living out our faith.

I have realized that the emotional “drops” come when I project out — what if I don’t have a job in the fall? What if Dave doesn’t? How will we pay our bills? What about our girls in college? Our son in his senior year of high school??

But as I study – and worry – and pray – and question – and hope – and fear — God has been reminding me that all I need to focus on is one day at a time. Jesus told his disciples, “Don’t worry about tomorrow.” And he said that after also reminding them not to worry abut their clothes or money — God would provide all that they needed.

Jesus also gave these reminders after telling His disciples exactly how they should pray. That prayer included a request for daily bread (not weekly, monthly, or annually), with the future focus not on our jobs or income or homes, but on the eternal Kingdom of God. Then Jesus went on to remind His followers to keep their eyes – and hearts – focused on that Kingdom.

I get anxious when I am focused on my personal kingdom – my family, my job, my bills. I am at peace when I am focused on God’s Kingdom. And my job in His Kingdom is to seek Him first in all things. What that means, practically, right now, is that I look to accomplish what God has for me to accomplish one day at a time.

I need to wake up every day focused on that day. What does God want me to do today? And James reminds me part of what I need to do daily is to be a doer of the word. God has convicted me I need to do better at listening than speaking, at responding with a soft answer rather than a harsh one. I also have practical responsibilities – I need to complete the work that I’m doing, I need to clean up the house, to spend time with my family. Other days might be “bigger” — serving in the community, sharing the gospel, helping someone in need.

But the bottom line is that I just need to do each day what God is asking of me. I’ll deal with tomorrow tomorrow. Like so many of you, I can’t stop this “roller coaster” – this is a difficult time, and the frightening drops will come, along with the amazing heights. But I can choose where my focus will be — on myself, my emotions, my fears; or on God — His Kingdom, His will, and His word. I can choose joy in the middle of trials. I can live, not in fear of the future, but one day at a time.

Currently in San Diego, we are experiencing a unique phenomenon — bioluminescent waves. Literally waves that glow. And just in case you think the images were just photo-shopped or that it’s a trick of the light, I can attest to the fact that they are very real and unbelievably amazing.

Our family drove out to La Jolla Beach last night and the waves were glowing blue. I’ve never seen anything like it. Even native San Diegans say these are more vibrant than in years past. We stood (at a safe distance from others of course) for a while, marveling at this unique display of God’s creativity.

My son loves the ocean. He’s gotten quite proficient on the boogie board since we’ve lived here. He knows how to “read” waves — He knows which ones are worth catching and which ones he should pass on. He has friends who surf, and they know the waves even better, speaking of them as one would speak of a friend. But even the most proficient surfer recognizes that there is an unpredictability to the waves. They can give you an amazing ride or they can drop you and leave you beaten and gasping for air.

CS Lewis talks about how the Christian life is like ocean waves: There are waves that crash into us, knocking us flat, and waves that roll along, moving gently past us. There are waves like we saw last night — waves that amaze and astound us. And then there are the nasty waves that stink and are filled with all kinds of debris.

But like my son and his friends, if we can “know” the waves — and remember that they all pass — we can better enjoy the journey God has us on. And as we mature in our understanding of the Christian life, we discover that even the worst waves don’t have to drag us under.

I’ve been studying the book of James, and he reminds his readers that trials (“big waves”) should actually bring us joy — they are an opportunity to be strengthened and mature. I have seen that in my own life. Times of uncertainty used to “drown” me. I still don’t love them. I doubt I ever will. But, during this time of complete disruption, I’ve been at peace, when years before, I would have been in chaos. But I know God is in control, I have seen Him bring calm out of chaos, I have experienced His stilling of my soul. I may have never faced this particular “wave”, but I’ve seen some big ones, and with God’s help, I have survived.

So take heart, friends, this WILL pass. And, while we wait, ask God what He wants you to learn, focus on what He has for you to do TODAY. Don’t worry about tomorrow, don’t stress about what that next “wave” might bring. God’s mercies are new every morning, so no matter what happens, He’ll get you through it!

And in the meantime, look for what’s beautiful. You may not have glowing waves in your back yard, but I promise if you look for the beauty in God’s creation around you, you’ll find it.

Here’s one teacher’s perspective on Teaching in  Time of Quarantine:

I feel inadequate. I consider myself fairly technologically adept. Ours is a 1:1 school, which means every student has a Chromebook; and textbooks, assignments, and communication all happen via technology. I use Power Points, videos, and other resources in my classroom. But distance learning has thrown in so much more: Recorded lectures, Zoom class meetings, Google Classrooms…it’s a serious learning curve, and a ton of new information to assimilate.

I feel overwhelmed. You’d think this would be easier than classroom teaching. That’s what I thought a month ago! But it’s not. And it isn’t just because of the aforementioned technology. What I used to be able to just mention in class, or explain, or even repeat, I now have to put on 2-3 different online programs. When I used to be able to grab a student to remind him/her of missing work, I now need to email that student and the parent, sometimes attempting to call and text, as well. Even then, students are missing assignments, confused, behind, or just “invisible.”

I feel unsure. I’m used to gauging my students’ comprehension by their nonverbal cues – I know when they get something and when they don’t. I know when I can fly through material, and when I need to slow down or repeat it. But I can’t see them when I’m recording lectures. And even when we are together live, the screens freeze and I lose students. Or they just aren’t comfortable talking. My teaching style, for a decade and half, has relied heavily on interaction – in large groups and small groups, formal and informal. Hearing students talk helps me know what they understand and what they don’t. But I can’t do that now, so I don’t know if they’re really getting the material, really doing the work; I don’t know whether they’re bored or engaged or confused. I just don’t know. And I hate not knowing.

I feel concerned. Not just because I don’t know if my students are learning – although that concerns me. But I’m also concerned for their well-being. I am blessed to have a very peaceful home life, but I know there are many families in crisis. There are homes where jobs have been lost, where tempers are short, where personalities are clashing. And even though I teach at a Christian school, I know that some of my students are likely in some of those homes. So them finishing their assignments really isn’t their biggest problem. And because they can’t “escape”, they may not be able to tell anyone what’s going on, they may not be able to get help that they need.

I feel ungrateful. I recognize I am fortunate. I have a job! My husband has a job. We can pay our bills, and our grocery stores have everything we need. My kids are safe and healthy. My husband and I get to walk every day – in San Diego, where the weather is almost always perfect and the views are spectacular. And yet I know so many people aren’t nearly as fortunate. Several friends have lost family members during this time, several have lost jobs. People I love are lonely, struggling, battling all kinds of difficulties. I feel so ungrateful for my petty complaints in the face of those whose struggles are so much more intense.

One thing I know — God wasn’t taken by surprise when COVID-19 hit. He was, is, and always will be in control. So, while I acknowledge my feelings, I won’t allow those feelings to dictate how I act, how I teach, or how I live. I’ll surrender them to the One “who who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” Ephesians 3:20