Here’s the greatest advice I never got:
Know yourself.
I know what you’re thinking…I know exactly who I am: “A daughter of the King.” And you’re right. Except that, while we absolutely are daughters of the King, we are also people who hearts are “desperately wicked” (Jer. 17:9), and we lie to ourselves all the time.
These lessons have taken me almost 45 years to learn. So if you’re younger than that and reading this, read on and don’t take as long as me to learn them! (If you’re older, pass on some wisdom that I have yet to learn…I know there’s lots more I need to know).
Don’t Believe Everything People Tell You About You
I know you hear this a lot in regard to the negative stuff — don’t believe those nasty people who call you names and belittle and condemn you. And that’s absolutely right — don’t give them power to tell you who you are! But don’t believe all the positive stuff, either. I grew up having people tell me I was great. And I totally believed it. I allowed my “greatness” to be my identity, to make me feel superior others who weren’t as great, to make me angry when anyone didn’t recognize my greatness. It wasn’t until college that God started working on that area and showed me what I called “greatness”, He called Pride. Pride is a sin that God hates. I should have listened less to the people who called me great and gone instead to THE Great and Mighty God. What lies – good or bad – are you believing about yourself?
Do Listen to the People Who Know You Best
I remember one time, when I was a teenager, my mom told me she knew me better than I knew myself. I got SO mad. She didn’t know me. She wasn’t in my head, wasn’t in my world, didn’t know my problems. How DARE she say that?? Fast forward about 30 years, and my husband says the same thing. Now, though, because I am slightly less stupid than I was when I was a teenager, I acknowledge that he’s probably right. Dave has known me for over half my life. He’s seen me at my absolute worst, my most insecure, my angriest…He knows how I respond to hurts and frustrations, to joys and blessings. And when I respond in ways that aren’t beneficial to others or myself, he’ll call me out on it. When he sees me believing lies – good or bad – he points that out, too. I haven’t always liked having that stuff pointed out (he obviously didn’t get the memo that I am great!!) But he sees things that I’m blind to. His observations are accurate, and he wants to see me be all God has for me. I benefit from listening to his suggestions and corrections. Do you have people in your life who can offer godly suggestions and corrections?
Read Your Bible
This is the foundation for all of the above. This allows you to test what others are saying about you. If someone calls you “worthless”, you can know that you’re “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Ps. 139:13). If someone tells you you’re the greatest thing ever, you can know that only God holds that position, and we are commanded to “walk humbly with our God” (Micah 6:8). If someone who knows you well corrects you, you can be encouraged that this is a good thing, “as iron sharpens iron, so one (wo)man sharpens another.” (Prov. 27:17). You can check what you feel against the Bible. Maybe you’re really angry, and you feel like you have the right to be very angry. But then you read James 1:20, “For man’s anger does not not bring about the righteous life that God requires.” You get the idea! The more we know God – through His word and through prayer – the more we can truly know ourselves. And that, friends, is a very good thing.
