It was December 2011, and I remember thinking, This may be the best life ever gets.
I was doing a job I loved – teaching English and Drama – in a city I loved – Tampa. My kids were at that school with me, and they were healthy and happy. Dave and I were enjoying the ministries God had given us at our church. And, in less than a month, my first book would be published with my dream publisher, Thomas Nelson!
In short, at the ripe age of 36, all my dreams were coming true. There was nothing “more” that I wanted.
And though so many wonderful blessings have come along in the years since, as far as “dreams” go, that really was the “top”.
I had hoped that, from there, I’d stay in Tampa and maybe teach part-time – because I’d be a best-selling author who had to travel constantly for writerly events. I hadn’t even considered that my full and lively nest would one day empty. I certainly hadn’t imagined that we’d leave the city, school, and church we loved. I didn’t foresee the struggles that were ahead – struggles in our marriage, ‘growing pain’ battles with our kids, jobs that didn’t work out, the unexpected deaths of both Dave’s and my mom.
I remember, in my lowest moments, several years later, thinking bitterly, “I was right. I hit my peak at 36, and it’s been downhill since then.”
But as I wrestled through the dark times, God gently reminded me that the “goal” I set should not be an earthly goal. My eyes shouldn’t be focused on getting that book published, getting that job, or even raising my kids. Those aren’t bad, in themselves. But if I set those as “the” prize, I’ll be disappointed.
God didn’t put me on earth to write books, teach, or raise kids. He allows me to do those things. But I am here to glorify Him, to know Him and make Him known. If I keep my eyes on Him – the WHO – I can better deal with the “HOW”: How does God want to use me to glorify Him? Ten years ago, it was teaching in Tampa, writing books, and serving in a variety of ministries at church. Today, it’s living in Memphis, teaching my middle schoolers, enjoying our last year with our youngest in high school.
When I focus on God – His glory and His plans for me – I can be content in all circumstances. I can find joy when life is at its “best”, but I can also find joy when circumstances are less than ideal — because it’s God, not my circumstances, that is the source of real contentment and joy.
Friends, if the last year has taught us anything, it’s that circumstances can change quickly – and sometimes painfully. But let’s not allow circumstances to control our emotions. No matter what is happening around us, God is in control, He loves us, and He has a plan. He is our prize, and we must keep our eyes on Him every day, no matter what.
