We love to think of God as a “good, good Father.” And HE IS! He is perfect and holy and the absolute definition of Good.
But what do we think of when we hear the word “good”? I think, in the 21st century, “good” has come to mean a kind of permissiveness: God is good, so He’s not going to allow bad things to happen to us. God is good, so He isn’t going to judge us. God is good, so He isn’t going to discipline us when we sin.
Growing up, I had parents who were fairly strict. When I did something wrong, I was disciplined. My parents saw that I had a problem with lying when I was younger, so they pointed out that sin and disciplined me for it. As a teenager, I struggled with laziness, and my parents disciplined me for that. I wasn’t allowed to get away with those sins. The discipline wasn’t immediately effective (because I was pretty stubborn, too), but it did eventually work. As an adult, I am known as being honest and hard-working. Not that I never lie or battle laziness, but those aren’t sins that characterize me. I have my parents, and the work of the Holy Spirit in my life, to thank for that.
Today, though, many parents don’t see the value of discipline. They feel it’s not “good”. I see it often as a teacher. I see kids every year who are like I was – kids who struggle with lying or laziness, among other issues. Issues that aren’t shocking or abnormal, but issues that need to dealt with. Rather than dealing with these issues, though, some parents choose to ignore them. I’ve seen parents blame teachers or other students for their child’s lying, cheating, or their disrespectful attitudes, among other things. Mostly, though, I see parents refuse to believe their child does anything wrong. Teachers will meet with parents to discuss inappropriate behavior, and the parent immediately defends their child, often attacking the teacher for daring to “accuse” their precious son or daughter of the infraction.
As a high school teacher, I see the results of this kind of parenting – entitled, manipulative teenagers who believe they can get away with anything. These students are not ready to be productive members of society. They have been trained to believe they are innocent of any wrong doing, free of any sin, that others are to blame for their problems. I have no doubt their parents love them — deeply. But, friends, parents are NOT being “good” if they excuse or ignore their child’s sin. That’s not how God parents. Throughout scripture we see examples of how “God disciplines those He loves.” (Heb. 12:6) God, in His goodness, doesn’t allow His children to continue in sin. He loves us too much for that. Discipline isn’t enjoyable. Not for anyone involved. But it is necessary.
Parents reading this, be like the “good, good Father.” Love your children enough to train them in righteousness. Teens reading this – submit to your parents’ discipline, even when it seems “unfair.” You WILL grow from it. And, if your parents can’t bring themselves to point out your flaws, ask God to bring someone into your life who will – a godly adult who will call you out when you sin and graciously point you toward Christ-like behavior.
Let’s correctly understand the goodness of God and seek to model it in all that we do. “Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.” Prov. 3:4
