Marriage.
Almost everyone has an opinion about this institution. Some think it’s antiquated; others treat it like a terminal illness. Romantics see it as a lovely ending, and cynics see it as a trap.
Countless studies are done each year, seeking to determine the right age, the rig
ht living conditions, the right personality types…treating marriage like a math problem that simply needs the right formula. And yet, despite all these studies and all these experts, the divorce rate keeps rising.
As my kids get older, and we start talking about their futures, I am tempted to just go with the “wisdom of the age” – finish college, get a job, date around, enjoy life before “settling” down. But the truth is – that advice is simply not working.
The fact is that God established marriage. It is a good thing. But good doesn’t mean easy, and I think that’s where our generation has gotten messed up. So much in our lives is disposable or has a limited shelf life. We are constantly “upgrading” our technology or jobs or cars…or spouses.
But God created marriage to reflect His covenant with us: He doesn’t leave us when we frustrate Him. He doesn’t walk away when the “honeymoon period” wears off. He doesn’t give us limited forgiveness. He loves us – extravagantly and unconditionally.
I don’t believe that waiting to marry or dating around or using computer-generated algorithms is the answer to the marriage dilemma. I believe the problem is that individuals enter marriage self-focused rather than God-focused. And when we are self-focused, relationships fail. Every time.
So the question of “are you ready to marry?” has far less to do with age or education or compatibility than it does with each person’s relationship with God. If you are considering dating and marriage, make sure your relationship with God is your top priority. Then look for someone with the same focus. Ask God to help you seek, to help you find, and to help you wait. His plans are best and His ways are sure.
